red shirt blue pants

Recently, I have seen a few different “how girly are you” questionnaires, and have overheard quite a few people talking about how they are “such a girl” or the opposite “a failure at being a woman.” I wonder, how are we defining feminine?

A sample from one of the more recent facebook notes would suggest that owning a lot of shoes, wearing makeup and loving shopping are what make a woman a woman. Others talk about loving romance, crying at cheesy movies and having your wedding planned since you were three.

If I ever have a daughter, I don’t want her to feel as thought she has to be consumeristic, insecure and dream only of finding a man in order to be a good enough woman. I don’t want her to feel the need to wear high heals and short skirts to be beautiful. If she expresses herself mainly through emotion, that is okay, but I don’t ever want her to feel insensitive or masculine if she doesn’t cry when watching the Notebook.

Proverbs 31 describes a good wife as being someone who cares about her family and provides for them. She is described as someone who participates in business transactions. This woman is more precious than rubies.

I wonder sometimes at how sad we must be making God in saying that the only way a woman can be feminine is through these certain personality characteristics or certain slightly or not so slightly shallow interests… That if He creates a wonderful woman who is anything but this list of what a female can be and do then there is something wrong with her… I don’t believe that God has created every woman to adore the mall and I don’t think that should be our measuring stick to determine how feminine she is…

Don’t get me wrong- I fit the ‘destined for housewife’ stereotype quite well, and I truely think that there are certain traits and roles that come a bit more naturally for women than for men… and vice versa. But since when has embracing womanhood become a fashion contest or a competition to see how easily we cry?

I think I can hear our foremothers who worked so hard for equal rights crying out from their graves. I think it is about time we join them in refusing to be boxed in by others and ourselves and put this notion that the platonic ideal of a woman is clueless barbie to rest.

Do you ever look at yourself and think of a million ways in which you could improve? I usually feel like it will take me a lifetime to take on step forward in of the thousands of things on my “you should become more like this” list. There just simply isn’t enough time to become the person I want to be…

And do you ever think of a million things that you want to learn about? Economics, debriefing, art therapy, botany… There just simply isn’t enough time to learn about every thing I want to learn about…

And do you ever look at the world around you and see a million people you should give your time too? A million things that you could do to help? A million ways in which you could or should change the world? And there just isn’t enough time?

Today, I am very grateful that God does not judge us based on how good of a person we are, because I would fail miserably. Today, I am glad we don’t have to take an entrance exam to qualify for heaven, because I wouldn’t pass the test. Today, I am glad that we are not saved by our works and good deeds for the world, because there is no way I have done enough to be worth anything were that the measuring stick.

I’m not wholly good. I’m not all knowing. I don’t have the power and ability to save myself. I don’t have enough time to even begin in that direction if I spent my whole life trying. Thank God -that He is good, the source of all good in fact -that He is all knowing -that He has saved me -that He is outside of space and time entirely.